Christmas 2011 will always stick out in my mind as the very first and so far, only Christmas that I didn’t get to spend with any of my immediate family. In 2010, John spent Christmas with my family, which was wonderful, so this year it was my turn to spend the Holiday with his family. I have to be honest, I was kind of apprehensive about it. I knew I was going to miss my family and that chatting to them on the phone was going to be hard. And even though our family doesn’t really have hard and fast traditions at Christmas time, we do things a certain way. Like opening presents on Christmas morning, with mince pies and and coffee and chocolates. My Dad sitting with his sily Father Christmas hat, on the batonka stool handing out gifts.
John’s family do things differently; but first of all, the weather in Port Alfred was miserable. Cold, rainy, and generally not conducive to going outside. So we were all cooped up from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day when we left. We drove down from Grahamstown in the morning on Christmas Eve. Hung out chatting and doing some prep for lunch the next day. Then around 7ish, we sat down to open presents. Yes, on Christmas Eve. That was; weird. Nice to open presents early, but I didn’t really enjoy it. not sure why. Perhaps because it meant that I felt like there as nothing to look forward to the next morning. I was spoilt though! John gave me a Chocolate Lover’s Cookbook, his brother gave me a recipe book called ‘Toast It’ which is to do with sandwiches and things. My parents gave me some perfume, his parents gave me a really good novel which I’ve already finished! I also got a gorgeously scented candle and some luxurious hand cream from his sister. His Gran knitted me the most awesome soft booties and we got some other lovely bits and bobs from other family members. Anyway, on Christmas morning, we were up early-ish and I felt a bit spare. Eventually, I got myself some tea and sat with John watching TV while his Mom headed off to Church.
When she got home, we set about making lunch. A gorgeous leg of lamb on the Weber, a ham, lots of roast potatoes, roast veggies and lots of wine! It was delicious and very relaxed! After lunch we rolled up the stairs to the lounge and commenced to lie on the couch and nap. Hard. With my nose stuck in a book. I was “reading”! I did get to chat to my Mom and my dad briefly but the connection was so bad so it kept cutting out. But at least I got to chat to them!
It’s taken me a few days to digest my feelings and work out what it was that made me feel so adrift at Christmastime. And I can nail down two major things. The first was that we didn’t really put any effort into Christmas. Partly this was because we have both been working so hard this year, and especially before Christmas. We just didn’t have any time to do ‘Christmassy stuff’. I’m not going to let that happen again. 2012 is going to be an insane year but I hope to at least decorate, (even if it’s with home-made things!) and I really want to have a secret Santa and a Christmas dinner with friends. The second reason is we are both used to our respective parents/families sorting things out; as in, we knew we’d be with family for Christmas so we didn’t make any plans of our own. I hope that next year we can host Christmas (maybe-we shall see!). The we can begin our own traditions and I can revel in the planning of it all and above all, being involved! I felt a bit like a guest, rather than a part of the family and that’s just something that will take time and an open mind on my part to get used to a different way of doing things.
